Ranking: 
The Sunborn Yacht lodge is the closest place to remain close to the ExCel centre, London. Only one minute’s stroll and you’re there.
From its stern, there are terrific views of Canary Wharf, the Emirates Air Line cable automotive (hardly anybody on it), what was the Millennium Dome and, within the distance, the Shard. The workers are nice and it’s clear.
However, my goodness, it’s an acquired style. Blingsters will just like the golds, the brass, the flashy chandelier above the spiral staircase, the cream panelling and sweet-and-sour shiny wooden.
Not impressed: The Inspector offers the Sunborn Yacht Resort a single star
For those who’re huge on novelty inns then this may do the enterprise. For us, the novelty wears skinny as quickly as we enter our cabin and step up and over a tin skirting to achieve the tiny bathe room with its heavy, clanking door that by no means will be left ajar.
Truthful sufficient when you already know you’ll be waking up in Santorini, however not nice once you’re caught within the Royal Victoria docks and planes are touchdown and taking off from close by Metropolis Airport. And never once you’re paying £175 room solely.
‘Why is all of it so costly?’ says my spouse as she peruses the restaurant menu.
I don’t have the reply as a result of I’m left speechless on studying that an 8oz fillet steak prices £34 in such a dreary room with hapless service and ghastly canned music.
Saving grace: On the plus facet, there are terrific views over Canary Wharf from the strict
We wait ages for a few glasses of wine (£10 every); my gravadlax starter is over-embellished to such an extent that I can hardly style the fish and the pork stomach comes with heavy mustard mash.
Two programs, with 5 detached glasses of wine, involves £122. What actually grates is the faux-poshness.
Order one other glass of the identical wine and it entails one particular person coming with a brand new glass, adopted 12 hours later by a person with the bottle.
‘The wine has to return from downstairs,’ says the trainee waitress after I ask what presumably may very well be the issue.
Finest a part of the night is when a pair on the subsequent door desk will get up in a huff and stroll out, complaining about one thing or different and refusing to pay.
The breakfast buffet can be dear — and disastrously off-putting in case you elevate the lid on the powdery scrambled eggs. Usually on a yacht, you possibly can’t wait to set sail. On this one it’s a reduction to disembark.
